Going to war!

I went all postal on a bunch of ants in my kitchen. I don't know what it is about these little fuckers, but every time I see them I feel like I lose control. I guess that comes with the territory of being a control freak... ba da bum!

I recently befriended a comedienne --- see, now you know it's a girl --- and it has opened me up a bit to reveal myself, but completely anonymously, in a blog, that probably no one will ever read. That's as much as I plan to open up in the near future.

Growing older has taught me, that the more and more people I meet, the more likely I am to think they are assholes. It's a complete truth. We are, as humans, inherently assholes. Forget giving Nobel peace prizes to physicists and people that can construct a human heart from plastic. If you can live day to day without being an asshole, you deserve the biggest reward in the land. I come into any relationship assuming that person will be an asshole, and if we become really good friends, it's because they have proven me otherwise. I think I used to be really optimistic and just liked everyone that talked to me. It forced me, after several long and painful years, to realize that the hard truth is people are not all that nice. We are really out for ourselves. And don't think that you are the rare exception, dear reader. You're not. What's your first thought when you wake up in the morning except for 'fuck this, fuck this world, I hate my job, and I want everyone to disappear and let me fucking sleep'? Oh wait, not everyone thinks that? Your first thought is, 'hmmmn, I want a bagel. I want to pee, because I haven't peed in 8 hours. I'd like a sip of water.' You see? Me me me. 

I don't know how this post turned into a war against ants to a war against all of mankind. You see how quickly things can turn here? These are just mindless thoughts that I am regurgitating because I haven't had an outlet like this in a long time. I promise to have much more focused posts in the future.

xoxo I